Children, obey your parents in the Lord…
Ephesians 6:1-4
Taking the fifth commandment on a surface level and not considering its broader implications would be a mistake for the commandment not only applies to how children are to relate to their parents but, how parents should develop and maintain their relationships with their children. Paul makes that point in our verses today. Clearly, the command to honor mother and father continues into the new covenant. While children are instructed and commanded to obey and honor their parents, parents also are responsible to do everything in their power to make this obedience a joy and not a burden. Parents are to raise their children wisely, working to help them want to choose what is pleasing to God. A 17th century theologian writes that “your children are pieces of yourselves, and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them, do it in such a manner as not to exasperate, endeavoring to convince their judgments and to work on their reason.” So, parents should not discipline without reason but should have rules that are clear and consequences that children can reasonably foresee before they engage in disobedience. When discipline is necessary, mothers and fathers should also take the time to explain why a punishment is meted out in order that children might learn the error of their ways. This is, in fact, how the Lord disciplines us. He lays out the way we should follow, promises specific punishments for disobedience, and so forth as seen in Deuteronomy 28 and Hebrews 12:3–17. By not exasperating our children, parents do not become Pharisees who lay burdens on our sons and daughters that they cannot carry. This entails the avoidance of legalism at all costs, for nothing will provoke a child to rebel more quickly than a legalistic spirit. It also means not sheltering our children from the world entirely, lest they be unprepared for facing it when the time comes. Boundaries and other elements of discipline will necessarily vary a bit from family to family depending on cultural location and other factors but, an attempt should be made to not put rules on children that are not grounded in Scripture. Part of not exasperating children involves letting them be children, under the wise guidance of humble parents.
Source: S C Ball February 6, 2024
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